food | confusedaboutnews

Malted milk biscuits…2 litre water bottle (x2)…the 3 for £1.20 deal of chunky kit-kat, smarties and…no actually, water first, then down the crisps aisle…Doritos if they’re only a £1 and I’m planning to revise that night…okay no it’s actually the 3 for £1.20 deal of chocolate ‘cos that’s right there as soon as you walk in…then walk round the side and pick up the red grapes to make myself feel better…couple of red onions to give the illusion I cook properly on a regular basi…okay no okay final one, it’s chocolate first, forget the onions ‘cos I forgot to pick up a basket and don’t want to juggle them, the packet of gingerbread men or the flapjacks, then pick up the biscuits, stare at the crème eggs but walk away then water last ‘cos that’s the heaviest but actually back to the front of the shop to swap the kit-kat fingers for the chunky bar (there’s a difference), stare at the crème eggs again…okay put the gingerbread men down and get the crème eggs…

Every time guys. Every time without fail, this is the process. Oh and I don’t mean, once a month during my monthly shop, I’m talking several times a day, before every lecture, during every revision break, after every trip back from town having just done my monthly shop. This isn’t even generic for how I behave at general supermarkets. This is for Tesco specifically. These items, this knowledge of their locations, this thought process, it’s only at Tesco. I mean every other supermarket, I’ve got my predetermined list (it’s either that or walking in aimlessly and coming out with random ingredients that don’t actually make a meal), walk into Sainsburys, get the apples(Pink Ladys or nothing), the mini cheddar crisps, stock up on my Cheerios andddd I’m out. Holland and Barretts? (yes, I live that type of life), pick up my Zinc tablets, some honey and the gluten-free biscuits (I’m not even allerg…) and it’s over. Farmfoods? Pick up my usual 3 for £10 deal of assorted meats, the £3 prawns, some mixed veg and peppers and I’m walking back. But Tesco? Tesco gets me. I could be in there for a good 30 minutes, leave having paid for just one fudge bar, start walking home and then turn back to fulfil the empty void that is consuming me with every step I’m taking in the opposite direction of the store.

Okay, there’s a point to this. Tesco is the largest supermarket retailer in the UK. Think of all the main ones, Morrison’s…Sains…Asda…Tesco dominates them all. Like why? Before coming to uni I’d only ever been to Tesco like…twice? That’s even just an assumption that perhaps during my childhood years my parents had driven me there at a point in time and dragged me around in the trolley. Now it’s my everyday place. Forget lectures, I’m at Tesco more than I’m in my university main building. It is the 3^rd largest supermarket in the World and has stores spanning over 12 countries.

Its success is mainly due to one word: diversification. It sees what consumers want and how their buying habits are changing and bam- it adapts. During the recession when everyone was hanging onto every penny, Tesco understood this and in 1993 introduced their ‘Value’ range(the much cheaper and plainer packaged stuff that you buy when the Kellogg’s and Heinz’s prices just aren’t cutting it.). This was so successful that estimated annual turnover skyrocketed to more than £1bn and the company continued to diversify further with the introduction of buying luxury items on credit. These days you walk in to buy butter and milk and walk out with a new phone and TV.
Okay, I sound like they’re sponsoring me to big them up but…they’re not. (Firstly, who am I that they’d use me to spread awareness) I’m simply explaining how to be successful in…life really. When starting something up for yourself, especially a service which others will hopefully interact with, it’s all about looking for gaps in the market, adapting to consumer trends and flying ahead of the competition.

These days, Tesco is everywhere, like the one located on my campus. (It’s closer to me than my university- clever). There’s a dynamic over here where you will forget your student I.D at home before you forget that Tesco Clubcard. They just knowww how to catch our eye with the good deals. Off the top of my head? Party rings, Rocky chocolate bars, the big packet of Skittles, the big packet of Starbursts, the big packet of Minstrels, all suddenly dropping to £1 when you least expect it. Mr Kipling’s Angel Slices, only 95p for a pack of 6 (my ultimate weakness). They’re taking over! Times have even occurred where Tesco have wanted to open up new stores in local areas and residents have protested against it. This did actually work on one occasion although Tesco said it was due to planning permission difficulties and not the protests at all (sure, whatever helps you stack the bread at night).

So there you have it, reasons into how a successful supermarket came to be and what we can learn from this (or maybe I’m just trying to force a helpful message from I’ve written, I’m not actually too sure what the point of…)
I just wanted to express my daily anxiety when picking revision snacks because it’s getting to 4am over here, I can’t sleep and I’m hungry because I was too lazy to get up and walk to Tesco before they closed. (11pm though, why?)

I did say this would be a more uplifting post than the last one so by daily anxiety I actually meant…something else.I do feel I need to plug in more economics into my blogs though so… next post. Happy thoughts and maybe something about inflation.

Stay Tuned! (And in the meantime, let’s ask ourselves why our eyebrows only grow on those 2 particular lines above our eyes and nowhere else.)

So we’ve still only just passed the new year really and the ‘new year new me’ mentality towards healthy eating is still underway for some I presume (25% of you already broke this during the first week of January, studies suggest, not me, studies). The remaining 75%? Well done but, give it 6 months and you too shall join the dark side of all things fried and wonderful (Again, studies). I’m bringing this up really because I want to now discuss some not so healthy treats with an audience who aren’t in the middle of cutting their sweet potatoes and are more in the process of deciding if they should add stuffed crust to their large meat feast like they did on Tuesday or just settle for the garlic bread, wings, barbecued chicken strips, onion rings, chocolate chip cookie dough with strawberry cheesecake and vanilla ice cream with flake and sprinkles as their pre-dinner…snack.

Mmhm. This audience needs an appetite. Specifically? An appetite for crème eggs. Let’s talk about crème eggs. I was biting into one of those innocent pleasures the other day when I suddenly noticed that the ‘inside yellow bit’ had been replaced with LIQUIDY MILK AND MELTED MOZZARELLA CHEESE WITH…okay that’s not correct. The recipe has changed though. It looked the same, it tasted the same, it appeared that it even was the same but… it’s not. The inside yellowy bit is fine but what’s an egg without its shell? What’s a house without its walls? What’s a piano without its keys people?! Before you even reach the yellow bit, you have to get through an oval protective layer of chocolate madness. You’re aware of the gooey delight that’s to come but you’re not tasting ANY of it unless you pass security. Prove you’ve got what it takes. That’s the first thing you taste andddd that’s what has been changed. From its dairy milk delight to a standard cocoa mix. From a branded sensation to a basic ingredient. They thought we wouldn’t notice too. (Well I didn’t notice at all to be honest but deep down I knew something wasn’t right. Deep, deep down.)

ANYway, social media has gone into uproar concerning this (I wouldn’t know but… I mean I’ve heard some stuff). The classic box of 6 has even reduced to an interesting non classic box of five AND the price has not been reduced to compensate. What is all this?! The only justification that’s been offered is that within the 45 years that crème eggs have graced this Earth, the recipe has changed several times with all sorts of chocolate having been used interchangeably. Is that supposed to make us feel better? Just because this has been going on since birth without us noticing does NOT mean we should accept it now thank you very much. I’ve been eating bowls of icing sugar as full blown meals for the past couple of years but that doesn’t make it right! (It really is though, don’t knock it till you’ve thrown up from it).

Another reason for this horrendous substitute is that the price of commodities have increased and so businesses have had to reduce costs as a result and restrict their production output.

These changes have been made in response to consumer research but considering there’s been complaints and protests from several shoppers, I’m not too sure of the type of consumer research that was actually done. And anyway, what crème egg loving consumer would voluntarily suggest to replace the dairy milk chocolate AND reduce the quantity they receive whilst still happily agreeing to pay the same price? It’s been said that price levels are set by individual shops themselves, hence why prices for this new 5 box are ranging from £2-£3.05 (Baring in mind the price of a 6 pack just a year ago was just £2). It’s also been said that we as consumers should not expect chocolate eggs to be packaged in the same quantity as real eggs.

Well I mean that’s just ridiculous. Of course we are not comparing crème eggs to real life chicken eggs (which are even cheaper by the way- check out Farmfoods). It’s not like I expect a kitkat to be the same size as a…cat (…horrific example but you get the idea). All we ask is that recipes are not secretly changed and that we get a decent size worth of goods for our money! In fact, I’m switching to Jammie Dodgers. That’s right. They’re coming out with a new ‘grown up’ version of biscuits called ‘Jammie Bakes’. Same golden biscuit, same soft jammie centre at £1.49 (Crème eggs take note) – the differences being the target audience it’s aimed at- an older generation of people, the variety of flavours available and the lack of the iconic heart shaped centre. It’s working though. Sales are currently at £21million a year which has compensated for the advertising campaign in 2011 which cost £4.5 million in a bid to boost the dropping sales.

That’s an uplifting end at least. Crème eggs may be chopping our money but at least other brands are reinventing themselves and keeping prices at an affordable amount.

Stay Tuned! Comment Below! (And in the meantime, Let’s think about why parents are banned from calling their child Nutella.)